Wrybread's Cavalcade of Whimsy

Okay, so I haven't yet bothered to make any posts to this LJ regarding the upcoming Federal Election because, really, I don't care all that much.  None of the parties really seem to be courting my vote (it's all "working families" rather than "young single geeks with hopefully temporary retail jobs"), although I did get a phone call from a rather awkward volunteer from my Liberal candidate's campaign today.  When pressed for information about said candidate, all he could tell me-repeatedly and in the most stumbling manner possible-was that she'd been in Canada for "thirty-five, uh, no, twenty-five years."  He eventually 'fessed up that his computer had frozen and that was the only information he could get from his script.  I felt kind of sorry for him, but...c'mon, you're devoting your time to this candidate and all you can do is haltingly give me some vague biographical information to convince me to vote for her?  I wasn't too impressed.  Anyways, later on this evening I was clearing out my room, which consists of equal parts books, clothes, and crap.  I was trying to get rid of the latter to make room for more of the two former.  Mostly books.  As usual, the whole "clearing out my room" project lasted about five minutes before I got stuck into one of the books, a collection of poems by the criminally undderated and underappreciated Canadian poet Raymond Souster-read his Wikipedia page along with a few interesting links here-en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Souster.  As fate would have it, I found a gem of a poem that seems appropriate to this or really any other election campaign (and there seem to be a lot of the damned things at the moment).  It's called "Good Dog Sam":

Good dog Sam
never plays favourites  
especially in election year,
spending equal wetting time
on the virginal posters
of both the virginal posters
of both the Liberal
and Progressive-Conservative
York-Humber candidates.
                                                       -Raymond Souster

I laughed my head off for about five minutes before it occured to me that Good dog Sam's most likely long dead by this point as the poem was written back in the Sixties or so, but if he was still around he'd have a few more candidates whose posters he would have to equitably urinate on; the Bloc Quebecois (in two official languages, of course, or perhaps they'd have their own Separatist pissing dog), the NDP, and maybe even the Greens, although it's debatable if they'd deserve equal wetting with the other candidates. 

And I also can't believe there used to be *Progressive* Conservatives, remember those days?     
      

Current Location: Wrybread HQ
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: Animaniacs-Presidents Song

...that I came across via the SomethingAwful forums. I really don't have much opinion either way on religion; wasn't raised religious, not all that interested at present time, I figure I'll figure God out once I've figured myself out. I can't stand people who shove their beliefs on you when you don't want them to, or people who are too certain that their way is the only right way and you're an idiot if your beliefs differ (this includes hardcore atheists), and especially people who have no sense of humour about the whole thing. Other than that, it's all good. Except maybe Scientology. This website, though...

http://www.fstdt.com/

An eye-opening, hilarious, and scary compendium of quotes from Christian Fundamentalists, mostly from our neighbour to the South. Dear Christ...so many people are so fucking stupid. One of my personal favourites:

"No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims."

Brilliant. So I guess there's a Secret Christian Lab somewhere where they do "the latest research" on atheists? And apparently in this guy's mind people who believe in no God are actually people who believe in a version of his God that spoke to a guy named Muhammad. Can you O/D on someone else's stupid?

Thank God I live in Vancouver, that's all I can say. I was going to say "Thank God I live in Canada" but then remembered that if you go into rural B.C. or Alberta things get a lot more homogenously Christian...although I like to think they never get quite as crazy-dumb as the guys quoted on the website.

Current Location: Wrybread HQ
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: WrestleCrap Radio Podcast